Attachment Style Quiz for Couples: Free and Private

How to take the attachment style quiz

Answer each statement about your current relationship, not past ones. There are no right answers.

Read each statement and pick how much it fits you right now.
Answer all 12 statements, then press the button.
Read your result, then send the quiz to your partner.
Once you both have results, talk about one moment when your styles showed.

Answer for how you usually feel, not your best or worst day.

What attachment styles are

Attachment theory began with John Bowlby's work on how children bond with caregivers. Later researchers applied it to adult couples.

Adult attachment is often described with two dimensions. Anxiety is worry about closeness and loss, and avoidance is discomfort with depending on others.

Low scores on both point to a secure style. High anxiety, high avoidance, or both point to anxious, avoidant or fearful-avoidant patterns.

Styles are tendencies, not fixed types, and they can change with safe, caring relationships.

What your result means, and what it does not

This quiz describes how you feel in this relationship now. It is not a diagnosis and it says nothing fixed about who you are.

Use it to understand your reactions, not to blame each other. Many couples find that naming a pattern makes it less powerful.

If distance has crept in over the years, read our guide to feeling disconnected in a long marriage. Attachment also shapes conflict, which you can explore with our free conflict style quiz for couples.

A pattern you can name is a pattern you can work with.

Try this tonight

The safe-signal talk

Each of you shares one thing the other does that helps you feel safe. Then name one thing that makes you want to pull back or hold on.

When to get more help

If the quiz brings up old trauma or heavy feelings, talk to a licensed professional. Attachment wounds often heal best with skilled support.

If you feel afraid of your partner, or have thoughts of self-harm, reach out to a person now. In the US, call or text 988, or see our crisis resources for couples.

Asking for help is a sign of care, not failure.

How Pragma helps

Pragma is an AI relationship coach for two. Each of you gets a 15-minute session a day by voice or chat.

Its coaches draw on attachment theory, EFT and the Gottman Method to help you spot patterns and try small steps. See how a daily Pragma session works.

Pragma is a coach, not a therapist. It does not diagnose or treat, and many couples use it alongside therapy.